Amor Fati

On loving the hardships that made us who we are.

There's a Stoic phrase — amor fati, love of fate — that asks something harder than mere acceptance. Marcus Aurelius practiced it. Nietzsche later made it a personal creed: not justenduring what happens to you, but wanting it to have happened, exactly as it did, because it made you who you are.

Most of us don't operate this way. We sort our lives into two piles — the good things we're grateful for, and the hard things we wish  had gone differently. The job that didn't work out. The year the numbers fell apart. The partnership that ended before it should have. We file those under setback and move on, quietly resenting them, wishing them away

Amor fati asks a different question: what if the setback wasn't  separate from the life you're grateful for? What if it was the hinge it turned on?

Where This Firm Actually Comes From

I think about this every time someone asks how Benda & Co. started. The honest answer isn't flattering in the way founding stories are supposed to be. My business partner, Jodi Breheny, brought nearly three decades of experience inside the mechanics of wealth management to this firm — and neither of us arrived here by a straight line. We arrived here because an earlier chapter, at a previous firm, didn't work. It was hard. At the time, it felt like something to get through, not something to be thankful for.

"There is no version of this firm that exists without that hardship. Not a better version — no version. "

Chris Benda, Founder, Benda & Co.

But there is no version of Benda & Co. that exists without that hardship. The frustration we felt is the reason we built something different. The gaps we saw are the reason we built it the way we did. If I could go back and edit that chapter out, smooth it over, skip straight to the part where the firm we wanted already existed — I wouldn't take that trade. The hard part is the origin.

A Note on Amor Fati

The phrase comes from the Stoics and was later adopted by Nietzsche as something closer to a personal formula for greatness: not merely bearing what is necessary, but loving it.

It isn't optimism, and it isn't denial. It's a refusal to treat the hard chapters of a life as separate from the good ones that followed — because, more often than not, they aren't separate at all.

Covered In Scars

There's a scene in the Apple TV+ series Shrinking that gets at this better than most philosophy does. Harrison Ford's character, Paul, is talking to a younger therapist, Jimmy, about what it actually means to move past pain — not by forgetting it, but by no longer letting it hold you back. Jimmy admits he's covered in scars. Paul's response reframes the whole idea of what a scar even is: not a wound to hide, but proof of a life that was actually lived.

"...the evidence of a life fully lived."

Paul, Shrinking (Apple TV+)

That's the line that stuck with me. Not because it's comforting — it isn't, particularly — but because it's true in a way most comfort isn't. A life with no scars isn't a life that went well. It's a life that didn't happen yet. 

There's a Japanese art form that captures the same idea: kintsugi, the practice of repairing broken pottery with lacquer dusted in gold. The point isn't to hide the fracture. It's the opposite — the seams are the most visible part of the finished piece, gilded rather than concealed, because the break is treated as part of the object's history rather than a flaw to disguise. Breakage and repair become part of the object's story, and the piece that results is more unique, more beautiful, and more resilient than it was before it ever broke. 

What This Means For How We Practice

We work with families for whom this isn't abstract. The portfolio that took a real hit in a year that mattered. The business sale that didn't go the way it was planned. The diagnosis, the divorce, the year everything had to be rebuilt. These are not detours from the plan. Often, they become the plan — the reason for the next decision, the reason priorities shifted, the reason the second half of a financial life looks nothing like anyone assumed the first half would predict. 

We don't tell clients to be grateful for hardship in the moment — that's not honest, and grief doesn't work on a schedule. But years later, looking back, the pattern is almost always the same one Jodi and I lived through ourselves: the hardest chapter is usually the one that explains everything that came after it.

The Hardship A previous firm, a year that didn't work, a plan that fell apart before it could hold.	The Shift What the hardship made clear — what we'd build differently, and why it mattered enough to start over.	The Present Benda & Co. — not in spite of that chapter, but because of it.

The Bridge, Not the Wound

Amor fati doesn't ask you to pretend the hard years didn't hurt. It asks you to stop treating them as separate from the life you're proud of now. They're not separate. They're the foundation underneath it. 

We'd rather help you build a financial life that can hold the whole story — the scars included — than one that only makes sense if you edit the hard parts out. 

Chris Benda, Founder, Benda & Co.

Chris Benda is an investment adviser representative with Savvy Advisors, Inc. (“Savvy Advisors”). Savvy Advisors is an SEC registered investment advisor. The views and opinions expressed herein are those of the speakers and authors and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of Savvy Advisors. Information contained herein has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable, but are not assured as to accuracy.

Material prepared herein has been created for informational purposes only and should not be considered investment advice or a recommendation. Information was obtained from sources believed to be reliable but was not verified for accuracy.‍Savvy Wealth Inc. is a technology company. Savvy Advisors, Inc. is an SEC registered investment advisor. For purposes of this article, Savvy Wealth and Savvy Advisors together are referred to as “Savvy”. All advisory services are offered through Savvy Advisors, while technology is offered through Savvy Wealth. The views and opinions expressed herein are those of the speakers and authors, and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of Savvy Advisors.